#this is soooooo much fun to think about and genuinely. truly. i love this

[raisedbythetv89]

Ok ooooook OK SO.

Spike was literally made for Buffy because he was made for and by Drusilla, and Buffy and Dru are the same person:

Innocent, kind-hearted young girls, with special gifts that cause them to carry more guilt/burden than others and they are used/abused/traumatized by angelus/angel, then neglected and abandoned, with Spike being there to pick up the pieces and nurture, care for, and love them the best he can to help them move past their angel trauma (which is actually an impossible task with Drusilla because of the sire aspect but isn’t with Buffy)

WHICH is why I believe William’s first act as a vampire was to try and save his mother. He was literally created to be Dru’s knight. Not only her protector but her healer. Which is why his first instinct when it should be all about blood lust is instead, to heal his mother who he still loves even as a vampire. I mean even Dru, a certified nutcase, is like you wanna do WHAT?!?! When Spike tells her his plan to save his mom���

This is also why I believe angel trying to mold Spike into his image never really took or rather Spike was able to break free from it. Angel was created by darla for the intent of death, torment and destruction.

Spike was created to care for and love Dru. Which required an OBSCENE amount of patience, determination, humility, and love of a challenge. Which is why he was so intrigued by slayers, another seemingly impossible task - but the joy/fun was in the TRYING, the thrill of the unknown and the unpredictability of it all. Which are all the traits he needed to be there for both Dru and Buffy while also ensuring he never gives up on them as long as they want him there, and then some lol.

IM FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

Because also this is soooooo not where I planned on going with this but “I was made to love you” episode title is now drawing in the connection of, is this why Spike didn’t initially see the problem with the Buffy-Bot until he saw the reaction of Buffy herself who often acts as his moral compass as he relearns what is “good” after 100+ years living by vamp code because him AS A HUMAN, in his vulnerable, dejected and devastated state was killed and made into a vampire for the sole purpose of loving and caring for Drusilla selflessly, without regard for himself, much like the bots were!! So why would he see the harm in creating something like that for himself when no one was going to die in the process and it meant he could stop fixating in the real buffy? Both of which to a vamp who’s only been trying to live by human morals again for like 14 episodes vs 120 years with NO help just trial and erroring his way through becoming a white hat which his starting point is “I would like credit for not taking advantage of bleeding disaster victims” and “what do you mean building a shrine to show how deep my devotion is and chaining you up, offering to kill my ex, and forcing you to talk to me and admit your feelings aren’t the way to do this??” 😹😹😹 like he gets it so wrong, it’s comical in season 5 because he truly is so earnest about all of it because while yes it is all for a chance with Buffy, he genuinely wants to be better for her so he can earn that chance. As he says to Riley “a fellas gotta try” after saying he doesn’t think he has a chance with her.

He was an Eleanore who desperately needed his Chidi. Which Buffy is his moral compass but she ends up being a “let them fail/push them into the deep end” kind of guide. So he makes A LOT of mistakes along the way as many of us often do in general but especially those of us who were raised by abusive parents; who in our adulthood, have to learn to discern what is healthy vs abusive to be a good person to both yourself and others and be in actual healthy relationships with boundaries and respect with zero practical experience or good instincts to go on.

NONE of this excuses any harm that Spike causes at all. That is not the point of this to say “oh he didn’t really do bad”, no he did. Spike caused a lot of harm but this perspective that I’ve finally been able to put into words is why none of the harm ends up being a deal breaker for me and many spuffys because it puts his choices in the right perspective which is not that of a human even though he looks like one a lot of the time.

Spike pre-soul, making the mistakes he makes isn’t the same as a human or a vamp with a human soul making the mistakes because he doesn’t have his human soul motivating and informing the decisions he makes. It really mimics different cultures in a lot of ways as anya really demonstrates during her wedding with all her talk of demon culture and tradition (and her own struggles to assimilate into the human world again and she HAS a human soul and xander to help her) and the initiative being VERY n*zi coded and Riley being called a bigot because he is ignorant to much of demonology. So un-souled spike has a more potential for forgiveness of his mistakes than human soul havers because he is always genuinely TRYING to do right by Buffy even when he gets it horribly wrong. And the characters in the show always hold him accountable and make him feel TERRIBLE for the mistakes he makes.

Why does he have such potential for forgiveness you ask? The best example is to think of the concept of someone trying to assimilate themselves into a new culture. We can’t expect them to blend right in perfectly and get all the culture norms right, right away (again -anya-but also a real life example - when I travel in Italy and catch up with friends there I STILL always stumble and forget they’re always gonna go in for a double cheek kiss greeting - pre covid anyway - and I KNOW it’s a thing but if I’m out of practice it takes me a while to start greeting people that way again and it makes for some AWKWARD ENCOUNTERS until I get it down😹). It takes time, and normally guidance and patience from others that spike honestly doesn’t often have except in the form of being yelled at or beat up until he gets his soul. But his willingness to TRY anyways despite failure, rejection, ridicule and cruelty. How can I not love him?? He is me, I am him!! I was also met with so much unhelpful criticism and cruelty when I was just trying to learn and do a good job.

Both as someone who is autistic and didn’t know it for a lot of life; I too felt like I was blundering through without a guide or a rule book and I was sure I was making mistakes because people would get upset but I had NO help identifying what exactly I did wrong or what to do instead. So I knew I was messing up but had to keep guessing and trying anyway and getting it wrong again and again!

And as someone raised by an emotionally distant/abusive narcissist, navigating healthy relationships became even MORE difficult and I made a lot of bad choices along the way that landed me in some awful relationships much like what spike and Buffy devolve into towards the end of season 6 because both of them are up stream without a paddle when it comes to healthy relationships, healthy coping mechanisms, and communication. They know pain, avoidance, fighting, torment, and ecstasy from always living in extremes and life or death situations (notice Buffy struggles the most in the season with no threat of the apocalypse until the last two episodes - season 6 - which is SO common for people with trauma, you really fall apart when things are low stakes)

It’s why the tenderness and gentleness of season 7 means SO MUCH. Both of them experiencing these tiny pockets of true peace with each other after everything they’ve been through individually and together. Experiencing true peace like we see from them is one of the hardest things to accomplish if you have severe trauma.

I’m always really happy when I can digest these complex themes enough to communicate why I love them so much and why they’re so important to me. The fact that this show had so much in-fighting amongst the writers and misogynists trying to make spike pathetic and accidentally making him one of the most complex characters, plus episodes based specifically on neurodivergent/queer peoples’ traumatic coming of age experiences because the parallels are SO strong there no way they’re not lol. This all means I can probably spend the rest of my life dissecting the layers of this show and learning about myself in the process and always find something new 🙃🙃🙃 and clearly I love all aspects of spuffy so god damn much as they each embody a big part of my life experiences in so many beautiful yet tragic ways.

[carmenized-onions]

alright yo!! I gotta do this while it’s hot and fresh! I just read ch 11 and BRO, I didn’t know what was gonna happen cause I don’t think lmao but GOD was this ch soooooo good. (and yes good, i’m a it hurts so good type of BITCH so believe me when I say youve MASTERED THAT FUCKING GENRE AND I WOULD EAT YOUR WRITING IF I COULD 🥹🥹)

i could genuinely go on for days and days about how good— no fuck it, GREAT, your writing is but for times sake i’ll say this, it AMAZES me how fucking ughhhh, on the nail your writing is for each of these characters,,, like like richie??? oh you’ve got richie down!! and carmen (meanie carmen who hurt tony’s feelings and possibly broke her heart just now 🥹) i mean of course you got carmen down, but syd?? you both make her possible to envision saying and acting these ways while also showing her in this new light, a best friend type of light like how would she ride for the ones she loves type of light? and a i’m just a girlllll in the worldddddd with my bestie type of light like you ATE TS ALLLLLL THE WAY UP 😭

anyways i’ll give you my play by play notes i took while reading cause they speak for themselves lmao:

- fuckkkkk their writing is so fucking good

- they got richie’s character down so fucking OMG

- DONT YOY DARE SAY THAT TO RICHIE!!!

- and don’t you DARE say that to chippie!!!!!!! 😠🔪🔪

- how tf have they mastered the art of making not only real characters but REAL moving relationships in their writing and omg i’m gonna fucking cry bro

- also why’s tony’s character like me?? but also someone i want to be ?? but also someone i want to deeply tend and care for?? ugh the COMPLEXITIES 😭😭

- lowkey so much more interested in tony’s character and how it interacts with carmys (and truly everyone’s but syd n richie r my fav) versus his character on his own and its not cause his character writing isn’t good, MY GOD ITS IMMACULATE and feels so RIGHT but they really put their foot in the curation of tony’s character and world that im so HOOKED

- and don’t get me fucking sSTARTED on syd and tony’s relationship like????

- inky?????

- squid????

- we are just two girlssssss living in this worlddddd

- wowwwww i wish i had real life versions of richie n syd as my friends cause it’s giving we are girlbosses but also tender hearts club?? iykyk🤞🏽

- i would quite literally cry and die over this series a million times over and probably already do when i think about it but i wish i didn’t just finish that chapter cause i so so so SO selfishly NEED MOREEEEE 😖😖

~~~

ANYWAYSSSSS this series is quite literally the cake frosting and cherry on top to my fucking life rn and your world building is so great i live in it even when it’s being built still and we’re all waiting for you to drop another one of your deliciously written chaps. i’m so grateful to have found this lil side of the internet you exist in and thank you for supplying us with this consistent dose of yumminess!!

thanks for listening to me absolutely YAP and just know if voice memos was a thing you’d probably be receiving 15 minutes worth of me yapping so count your blessings todayyyy!!!

ALSO ALSO PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE ADD ME TO THE TAG LIST 🥹🥹🫶🏽

luv uuuuuuuu n keep being great 💐

THANK YOU FOR SAYING I'VE MASTERED THE HURT GENRE-- I also like the hurt, I was worried i didn't get the hurty enough. I'm glad everyone went "i'm so hurt" after reading 10/11, I did hurty all of you. my bad.

This is just gonna be a lot of me saying thank you over and over, but THANK YOU! I try very hard to nail these characters. I think there's fully notes in my drafts saying "HE HAS TO DO THAT. IT'S GONNA FUCKING SUCK TO WRITE BUT IT'S WHAT HE'D DO SO HE HAS TO DO THAT" Everyone that thinks I'm a cool good writer would throw up if they saw what the draft looks like LMAO.

Syd's been very fun for me to write, because with Richie/Carmen I think in canon we've seen enough of them handling friendships/partners to understand how they work in those dynamics-- But Syd does not have girlfriends. Like that bitch has no one. I'm so broken about this. So envisioning how she'd work in that dynamic while still being herself has been very fun for me. Based on the way she acts in Season 3, I think I got it p down. She's a witty fun gworl who's also a bad bitch who also has anxiety. I love her.

IN YOUR NOTES, I REALLY AM SO HAPPY TO HEAR YOU WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT TONY IN THIS UNIVERSE. I really did stick my fucking foot in implementing her in everything lmao. She's SO carved in. Which I love-- Apparently Carmen hates that but i love. I could smooch tony so much better frfr.

Richie/Syd/Chip have been genuinely my favourite trio dynamic to write for. Everytime it's been Carmen/Syd/Chip he has a tendency to just shut the fuck up because he's very wallflowery-- I love that Richie will interject without even a percent of hesitation. I love my yapping father. I love how he just be talkin.

I HOPE YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER AFTER THIS ONE TOO!! Something to Do was a doozy and this next one is . i'm not gonna say anything except i. am . sorry....

AND ADDED TO THE TAGLIST YEEHAW THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME YOUR THOUGHTS IT MAKES MY GDANG DAY SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO GET TO RESPONDING !!!

[raytorosaurus]

funny how everyone says boy division is their fave when spotify play counts for light behind your eyes and world is ugly are higher. also boy division is overrated (i love it but i'll die on the hill that everyone is just blinded by it being an upbeat opening track) (tomorrow's money is far superior to boy division) (and number five is the best of the collection)

lol i can see why those two from number three have a lot of streams from more casual fans because they have like...'sing-alongable' lyrics and are that classic kind of palatable angst yk, but boy division is very solidly the fan favourite in more dedicated bandom circles. and yeah i kinda agree sjdkgl - tho i hesitate to call things overrated bc often ppl take it to mean "i don't like it just because it's popular" when in this case i really mean i do love boy division and think it's a great song but just genuinely don't understand why it's this much more popular than the rest of cw, you know? (poll here)

i do get that it's really fun and that they played it a lot this tour and we were all excited about that together so that makes it more fun - what i don't get is why they played it so much this tour (i.e. why it was so loudly a fan favourite above all the others before then). it just really surprises me that it was The most played song besides the every-show staples, with the single exception of mama. look in your heart is it truly anywhere near as good as mama </3 (stats from this awesome awesome spreadsheet by @onedaythisday)

i know that sometimes things are fun to love because they're loved - like it's much more fun to be really hyped up about them playing a "deep cut" fan favourite when everyone can lose their minds in excitement together, i totally get that. a similar thing happens with heaven help us imo. boy division and heaven help us - both really great songs that i love, but which have a reputation of being the stand-out "best" from their respective collections that i don't understand. tomorrow's money is by far my favourite on conventional weapons - of course personal taste accounts for a lot but i do genuinely believe that if any song on cw could be called underrated and truly hold up against their best stuff, it's tomorrow's money. it's lyrically and musically much more interesting than a lot of cw, the production is really fun, the breakdown and distorted screams scratch my brain soooooo good, and it really plays on mcr's strengths as a dual guitar band with a ray toro up their sleeve lol. i also think kiss the ring is a lot more interesting than boy division and sooo fun but they didn't play that one at ALL :( again, just my taste - i defs get boy division being people's fave, just struggle to understand why it's considered such a singular standout.

my actual unpopular cw opinion is that i think surrender the night is a bottom tier mcr song JSDKFLSDF sorry anon. bottom tier mcr already puts them at better than most other songs out there at least. i definitely appreciate it wayyyy much more now after seeing the live version where it actually feels like the guitars are doing something interesting (it might actually have been promoted to second-bottom-tier actually) but the studio version feels kinda flat to me. also imo gerard shot himself in the foot by saying it sounded something geoff rickly would write because if it was a thursday song it would sound better SDKLGJSDKLGJLDS. but that's just me tho i understand why people like it. number one (tomorrow's money and boy division) is probably my fave overall, tho number four (kiss the ring and make room) comes close. then five because burn bright slaps hard.

[doesntseeyourbeauty]

Heyyyy 👻🥰

I'm okay, just tired! But, tomorrow's a city holiday and I get to stay home.

I hope you're well too! 🤍🤍🤍

Hehe I was catching up with Ali Hazelwood and I read love, theoretically and love on the brain. I'm now on my way to continuing my other books for this year and I'm reading the night circus. I'm very excited!

Yes, that's exactly how I do things. Even edits. Sometimes I think I might try using a certain colour, but halfway through things I end up changing it because it just doesn't seem right for me.

Aaaah thank youuuuu!!!! Can't wait!!! 😁😁😁

Oh, that seems like the experience!!! So cool that everyone is being so nice and having so much fun at the theatres. As much as they did at the shows!!! It's so cool. Makes my heart so happy! I'm sorry about that. I've had some trouble with love recently too. It's tough, but you're tougher and amazing and you'll be doing so well!

That's such a great take on it!!!!

Omg Elizabeth that muppet twilight is so funny!!! Shortbreadward! 😂😂😂😂

I agree!!! She's such a genius, she was definitely born to be a songwriter, a storyteller!!!

Trueeeee! Why are people like that, why must they know everything? 😅

Aww you guys are adorable, but also very relatable!!! 🤍🥹🤍🤍🤍🤍

I have something to post on the 21st, but I haven't been able to finish everything I want to send to you, so there'll be a little delay on that. I'm sorry. I hope it's okay. 🤍🤍🤍

hi! i feel the being tired part, i did not want to go into work today... that sounds amazing! i took a personal day last friday for the eras tour movie so i have to go to work tomorrow but it's casual friday so i'm gonna wear my karma is a cat hoodie!

ooooooooooo, i love reading, but i typically stick to fantasy, but i'm a sucker for a good romance book too! i've been re-reading some of my favorites and remembering why i love them so much!

i 100% feel that, color is such an important thing to me and i'm so picky with how my bracelets look, even though they're super basic! I LOVE SEEING PEOPLE'S EDITS BECAUSE I AM NOT THAT TALENTED!!!! a lot of my blog is queued edits that i love so so much and want to share with everyone!

when is your show? i remember when i was getting closer to my show, it was so unbelievable that it was coming up so fast. i got my tickets in december and i was like "i have so much time!" and then bam! it was july and time for my show. it's also soooo surreal to be at the stadium just waiting in anticipation, hearing the pre-show music, I miss it everyday!

agreed! apparently some people on tiktok (heard this from a coworker) that people were watching saw and the theater next to them was taylor which i died laughing about! it was genuinely so much fun and it was just amazing to get to see everyone from young kids to adults in their 40's+ there for taylor, it truly shows her wide variety of fans!

I'm glad you like it!!!! I found it by accident once when I was stoned and I about died from laughing so hard! There's like a whole series on YouTube too!!

She 100% was!!! I can't imagine my life without taylor and her music in it, so i'm very grateful to have her as a part of my life for the last 17 years!

i have no idea but it's really weird to me! It's kinda like everything with taylor right now and I'm just sitting here like "as long as taylor is happy idc who she dates or what they're doing every waking moment" but i've always been like that!

Thank you! I need to get them their halloween costumes (winnie is always a bat) but I need to find something that'll fit kayla, she's got a big chest lol

oh no worries!!! please take your time if you need, i completely understand! I've been slacking a little bit with my swiftie halloween gift and I feel soooooo bad but life's been hectic for me recently! thank you so so much for taking the time to chat with me and for creating an amazing gift for me, I'm sure I'll love it! <333333

I hope that you have an amazing day tomorrow and get lots of sleep and cuddles! <3

[polyhexian]

Soooo happy to have picked her up for $80 lol. It's a collector item so it doesn't ever sell loose. It's a third party figure. I DO actually like the original better, but-- I literally got a discount of $50 because it was the display model.

This is the arcee version! They both have these wings but I think they probably come with the accessories that I didn't get because display. I thought that only included hands and extra boobies and some stuff like that, but hey, I still would have bought it. they look cool in the photos, but I strongly suspect they don't look nearly as good in person.

Okay so the big thing is that when Nicee (the name for the arcee lol) was first released (and I remember when that happened) it actually had a super different look. Third party toys usually visually match the characters they're representing very closely. They don't actually really do a lot of unique stylization; probably why I like the iron factory girls so much. But here's the original Nicee:

Is that not a FASCINATING look? That IS meant to be arcee. I think it's generally kind of brave to try to do something with a unique look in this space.

That's all separate from the sexy stuff but that stuff is genuinely worth commenting on I think, it IS an interesting piece. I think the massive titties are truly funny like it's so tacky, this thing is tacky and funny but also really pretty and a nice figure and the combination of those things makes me adore it. so yeah if I could pick any version it would be the original, I wanted one as soon as it came out and tbh I would STILL buy one, even having elita, but it also did noooot go over well. I saw a lot of talk about how it just didn't look right to tf fans, it didn't look like a tf, thats not arcee, blabla. So I wasn't surprised when the released a new one with the changes. But I'm glad the elita has that weird smooth anime face. I find it endearing.

Another interesting third party sort of thing I picked up is this beast box. I do really love beast box, they're a bit pricey but I understand why. A boar or warthog is not the kind of animal I'd usually buy, but the person who sold it to me was actually there vending music, and I have been seeing them at big shows for a decade now. I talk to them all the time. I've bought some lovely cds from them. I asked about it and she told me that the show runners of botcon gave it to her- or, them, they both got one- and it was a botcon exclusive version with the colour palette. And I love myself exclusives lol, I mentioned it and said I love beast box toys, I have one of the very first ones they ever made but not really any others and she said she'd be happy to sell it to me, and gave it to me for a killer $25. She clearly didn't want it and didn't know what to do with it; it's one of those things where it's like this is too special or whatever to just get rid of but I also don't want it... She seemed relieved to just give it to someone who gave a shit about it, no matter what I was paying for it. So, super happy transaction lol. It's a really fun little oddity

An artist had a bunch of these little pouches based on the cassettes, and one of them was a Howlback!!! She said it was only a sort of spontaneous decision like a couple weeks ago to make a few variants and I am SOOOOOO happy. I also got a shiny sticker of the same thing. Howlback is my favourite transformer and I'm so happy

Another interesting thing is this custom Minerva. It's using a Getaway body with a custom sticker set. And it has two heads, one being a repainted getaway head, but the other is a very real miner a head that is actually VERY rare because it's a mail order exclusive that's in part of a really big expensive set. It's something I basically thought I would not be able to acquire without paying several hundred for the full set. So not only being able to get the Minerva headmaster AND it's on a custom Minerva body- whoo!

I got this as a gift for my boyfriend; it's a commission from Aaron Archer of Liokaiser hehe. He was so nice.

WOOHOO! I have so many girls, god. And some truly SICK ones now. MY full list is 814, but my list is basically anything in my house, but me and Alphonse share our collection. So we count our total together. Or. We are supposed to. If something goes directly to my house he doesn't always catalogue it on his sheet. We should fix that. But he is at 2900 something and I'm pretty sure it just kicked over 3000.

Anyway I hope you all ready to hear me gush lol

[claymotif]

hi luna vitally important question. for all of your ocs if they were inexplicably youtubers what niche youtube subculture would they be a part of

the way u always ask about ALL my guys. i get to sit here and rant about them for 12 hours straight bc theres so many <3

(also im ASSUMING u mean like. a modern day au. like they live in our world. sorry if that's not the case)

aderyn: fashion vlogger. he'd be so annoying too bc the thing is his goal is to show ppl how to dress for their body type but also their level of comfort w/exposure, the weather, the occasion; like he wants ppl to rly think about what they're putting into a fit instead of just following trends. also he's constantly following keldan around like "let me give you a makeover next time ur in town" and keldan refuses. obviously. they have ongoing twitter beef about it so there's actually a surprising amount of fandom crossover

keldan: travel vlogger. like he lives out of a van/rv so he'd do periodic van tours, show off where he's staying, what he saw, etc. he always posted the videos like two weeks after he was actually there so no one could predict where he was going next. sometimes he does campsite reviews but they're all super vague like "the views were great! bathrooms were kinda gross if ur not a fan of bugs" and everyone's like "what does that mean. how many bugs were there". his viewership is all ppl who romanticize vanlife but would never actually do it.

melati: cafe reviews. luckily she lives in like... nyc or some other large city so there is no shortage of cafes to visit. she'll do repeat visits to cafes if she likes them or if they're the type to do seasonal specials or change their menu a lot. she's also active on tiktok where she does "what to order at starbucks" and it's those insane drink modifications that no reasonable human being would ever actually order. (except if you did for some ungodly reason actually order them, they'd be pretty fuckin good.)

seia: not actually on youtube. he shows up one day on keldan's channel and it's like... kind of extremely obvious that the two of them are traveling together but it's not like he shows up in every single place they visit (is keldan just not filming him? is he really not there? no one knows) and also the two of them never clarify their relationship (also true to canon) so comments are like "theyre dating for sure" "uh you can't just assume that" "theyre sleeping in the same bed tho?" "maybe seia has his own van" "it's homophobic to imply that they're just friends" "can't we just have rep for non-toxic male friendships?" etc etc. seia screenshots the best ones and sends them to the sky sea gang's discord server.

delwyn: daily vlogger, but it's clickbait-y shit like "i almost died doing parkour today" and then u watch it and he actually DID almost die and ur like. how did yt allow this to be uploaded. luckily he doesn't do any of the cringy prank stuff but he doesn't need to bc he's cringy enough on his own. the secondhand embarrassment is so real but he has a ton of followers anyway bc ppl are like "no way how is this guy still alive". it's like watching a train wreck or seeing a car crash. you just HAVE to find out more

chan: chan would have a cooking channel. he'd post recipes and tutorials and stuff and would have a long-running series where he invites other big-name youtubers and tries to teach them how to cook, except theyre always atrociously bad at it and it's funny. 90% of the ppl subbed to him don't cook, don't know how to cook, have never and will never try any of his recipes (even tho he'd make it SOOO easy for beginners) they literally just think he's funny and like to listen to his jokes. there's a small minority of ppl who do try his recipes and post rave reviews on their tumblr blogs about him. he never sees them bc he doesn't use tumblr

junhee: junhee would inexplicably have one of those asmr craft channels. i like to think he's really dedicated to those paper theaters (exhibit a, exhibit b) so most of his content is making those (he does a lot from scratch, zero pattern/template etc, but he also does requests for pokemon cards and stuff like that as well as theme requests. if someone requests like a ghibli movie or maybe a minecraft inspired one he'll take that into account. he's got a whole list he's working through). but he also sometimes does mini diorama stuff (exhibit a, exhibit b). those are extremely rare uploads bc theyre so time and resource intensive but ppl go crazy for them. he's got almost a million subs even tho ppl have never seen his face or heard his voice. he rarely even replies to comments. it's literally like he just logs in to upload a video and leaves again. no one's gonna say he's their fave youtuber or anything but no one hates him that's for sure

sasha: sasha would be a daily vlogger. just like here's my life etc. except they still work in a hospital/medical care so the vlogs are supremely censored bc of hipaa and other privacy policies and also bc some of the stuff they do on the daily is actually gross and would get taken off youtube. they have like max 6k subs but those 6k subs are dedicated. they love sasha's content and are like genuinely invested even tho sasha's extremely vague all the time

hana: hana would literally be one of those tech review vloggers. she gets free stuff and sponsorships etc from cutting edge companies and startups. microsoft sends her care packages. she has like a billion subs. it's like 63% male viewership so she says it's only bc they think she's mildly attractive but all the comments sections are ppl genuinely interested in her reviews and opinions. healthiest yt comment section on the planet no joke

kei: SUPER into astrology. she posts videos like "how to interpret your daily horoscope" and "what mercury in retrograde means for YOU". but she's actually more into tiktok where she does vids like "zodiac signs as vines" and "zodiac songs as hit 1999 singles" etc etc. has a cult following that takes everything she says super seriously even tho she herself is like "guys it's not that serious"

other fun trivia:

junhee has a tumblr that's totally untraceable to his yt account. the last time he reblogged a post was in 2016 and he only uses it to find the recipe reviews ppl post about chan's channel.

the tsh main trio have a weird poly thing going on. they're not out about it but junhee's guested on chan's channel ("this is my bf junhee", zero mention of said bf having a yt channel bc that's how junhee prefers it) and there are brief glimpses of delwyn's filming through the apartment where ppl see the kitchen and are like "isn't that....?" somehow delwyn always sees those comments and replies "idk who this chan guy is :/" and no one can tell if he's being serious

in this universe sasha and hana are madly in love because there's no "you literally killed my brother" "well he came back didn't he?" conflict to tear them apart. they're so gross and mushy about it. sasha catches hana in their vlogs, they do unboxing videos together, and every time they kiss or are generally in love on camera ppl post fan edits on twitter like "omg they're so in love" "get you someone who looks at you like hana looks at sasha" etc.

no one knows hana and kei are friends until they both show up in one of sasha's vlogs. the entire internet explodes bc the whole jokey rivalry their fandoms have built up ("theyre so different they wouldn't get along if they knew each other irl") just crumbles.

if seia DID have a youtube channel it would be asmr bullet journal/calligraphy stuff. also stationery-from-aliexpress unboxing videos. but his current lifestyle (driving across the country in a van with his not-boyfriend) doesn't really suit the stationery hoarding thing. so.

keldan finally agrees to let aderyn give him a makeover and then they DON'T FILM IT. keldan films exactly one video with the Look that aderyn puts together for him and then never does it again. everyone is freaking out about it

[in-silks-and-flesh-and-leather]

Darling Silky! I was just referred to your chapter update of The Bear and the Maiden Fair on AO3. I don’t have an account there so I can’t comment on it and wanted to send my comment here!

I loved it as always! That is now the longest Jacques story of quality out there and I love every word! it’s such a wonderful piece of storytelling and world building that so few people have the patience to write! Let alone the capacity to think up and the skill to carry off! That, Ubi Amour, Malocchio, and A Lady Worth Fighting For by the other Jacques authority @safarigirlsp are my favorite ongoing chapter stories. Period. Not currently, but that I’ve ever read. And the oneshots you both have with him are phenomenal! I love that such fine authors are doing him proper justice!

I loved so much about this chapter! The chess game was a lovely touch! As was his being too tired for his cape twirling! I loved their pillow talk with him explaining the nice guy illusion to her! He’s so right too! Give me a Jacques over a puny nice guy any day! I love that he’s showing his loyalty and commitment to her through his actions instead of just flowery words and that he’s willing to fight for her! I can’t wait to see what happens when he returns from battle! The ending with her having a hard time getting a kiss had me laughing! I loved it all!

And the preceding chapter with the party and his dream! I can’t remember if I commented, again because of the AO3 issue, but I adored it!

Thank you for sharing your immense talent! 💛💛💛

Ohh, what's that?

An angel from heaven swooping down to touch my heart and make my whole day?

😭😭❤️❤️

Thank you so much, my dear, you know it means the world to hear from you and have that endless Jacques love echoed - it's what keeps me writing 💕

And you totally nailed all my favorite moments! 🤩

The chess game was so fun, I love how he handled it 😄 And it's totally my new HC for him that the way to tell he's actually despondent is that he doesn't do the cape twirl 😂

And the Nice Guys observation! That's exactly how I thought of it - it was an important character moment for me to include that and I hope it served to sober up some readers too. It's true then and now - the men who are successful with women really tend to like them and have genuine fun with and affection for them, unlike the guys who mean to barter surface-level kindness for whatever else.

The plot thickens now with some actual danger lurking, that's always fun! And I have a few things planned that I hope will manage to be surprising and interesting 😄

I am soooooo ready for the inevitable love fest between the unstoppable force Le Gris and immovable object RC ❤️❤️

I am so grateful for your generous assessment of the story and my ability; that truly leaves me speechless and turns my emotions to 11 💕💕 You are absolutely wonderful for taking the time to leave a beautiful ask like this, it means everything 😍😍

[scara-meow-che]

OKAY GOOOD CUZ MY MIND IS B L O W I N G U P wishing i would be blowing something else as well but oh well

EXPECT THIRSTS LATER TODAY CUZ MY MIND IS KINDA SOOO FULL BUT ALSO SOOO EMPTYYYY

but for now, luc and zhongli are def the type to enjoy a nice soft cuddle fuck with you in the morning before work!

luc would act a lil grumpy but hes enjoying it soooooo much and his cheeks are the same shade as his pretty hair you had so much fun pulling, the entireeee day!

Zhongli would just genuinely smile though-out the whole cuddle fuck! he just loves u so much and seeing u giggle and moan while having you so close to him is just so nice!! he loves you so much he doesnt even know what to do with all this adoration and passion he hasnt felt for someone else in sooooo long

well childe too but he would be he type to pull u agaist his morning wood and pull a quickie before he gets up and runs out the door cuz hes late for work! he would tease you and def hold your back against his chest while sloowly fucking into you (licking ur earlode and being reaalll annoying) the cuddle fuck turns into something else when you decide youve had enough of this teasing and flip him around so your sitting on his dick and hes below you, you choose to be nice and not edge him for too long like he did you and just 'get it over with!' (you act like youre just purely annoyed but oh how you love his annoying cocky smile!)

childe's stuck thinking of you the entire day, in a horny sense but also with love in his eyes that everyone cant help but notice! he truly is in love

-🍙 NONIE WITH LOVE ♡!

okay, woo, i needed to compose myself for a second, dear lords.

honestly, luc just wants to spend more time with you but work keeps pulling himself back :(

so he needs to have something engraved in his mind while he's out so of course, he would definitely be into morning sex. ah, just feeling his warm and hard cock inside of you, just thrusting from your back, arms wrapped around you, him leaving kisses on your neck, marking you his own, just cumming deep inside you and focused on the way your walls clamped down on him 💞💞

and zhongli, our next lover boy, is always into passionate sex. he would want to see your face, just enjoy how your lips would part to moan out his name with want, how you only desire him, fueling the love in his heart. he is the king of after care so prepare to have a warm bath with him as he massages your scalp, have you relac in his arms 💞💞

and childr, this lovable asshole, i fucking love him oh my god you all don't even know how much i want to be teased by him, i will forgive him. cuddle fucks are honestly just an indication he's into some kinky shit. he starts off romantic, tease you, rile you up, make you act on your desires and had you humping up and down his cock, smiling when he sees your breasts bouncing ip and down as he watches you do the work. you're about to punch him but his cock is too fat, you felt full so it's forgivable.

[leefi]

Starira MBTI II - Siegfeld

These were the most fun to write up.

Seisho

Siegfeld

Frontier

Rinmeikan

Michiru Otori: ENFJ

Oh my woof woof...My evil little girlboss. i love you sooooo soooooo so much. Michiru is fake as fuck and soooooo evil and funny. She's the final entry I'm writing because I wanted to save the best for last.

She is the perfect example of how manipulative and conniving Fe doms can be (we even see a teeny tiny bit of this in Nana - see how she tricks Kaoruko into doing work in their My Theatre conversations). Michiru is also a visionary - she has a very distinct plan for the future that she’s always working towards (aux Ni), but you’d never guess that about her at first glance. She works very hard to maintain an affable, easygoing, approachable persona to contrast with Te dom Akira’s more intimidating and domineering one (dom Fe). I can’t say that I’ve seen her use too much of that tertiary Se, but her Ni and Fe are so strong that I have absolutely no doubt that she’s an ENFJ. We definitely see that inferior Ti struggle to catch up with Akira’s dominant Te reasoning for prioritizing Elysion over the Performance Festival, though, because Michiru’s Ni is thinking so far--too far, she comes to realize--ahead.

I could talk more about how smart and pragmatic and intuitive Michiru is, but we’d be stuck here all day. She’s my evil little girlboss, yes, but she also cares for her friends so much. At the end of the day, she’s an Fe dom, and that mastermind auxiliary Ni comes second - everything she does is to uplift and benefit the people around her. That dominant extroverted Feeling is what allows her to pick up on Akira’s potential from that day in their childhood - and auxiliary Ni instantly begins setting a plan into motion for how to get there. Why doesn’t Michiru try for the throne herself, then? Well, maybe there’s some deep-seated insecurity towards Akira and their relationship that we’re not seeing. It has always intrigued me so much as to why she prefers to work in the background. It would be fine if she truly preferred to stay in the shadows - that’s a normal thing for a lot of people to want, and they thrive there. But I’ve always had the feeling that isn’t quite the case for her…Sometimes she says things that make me think she desires more.

But again, she’s an Fe dom - her mind is geared towards thinking about other people, about what’s best for the group. And we see that once more when she’s perfectly poised to win the Arcana revue against Shiori, when she flippantly remarks at the start that there’s no way in hell that she’s losing to her - but then she sees how hard Shiori is trying, the potential she has to succeed her the role of Frau Saphir one day, how much she’s grown and come into her own and found a cause to fight for, while Michiru is is too far stuck in the future...and dominant Fe stamps that conniving auxiliary Ni down, and she rips off her own jacket for her kouhai.

Akira Yukishiro: ESTJ

Funnily enough, the “extroverted” ESTJ actually tends to be a bit more socially reserved than their “introverted” ISTJ siblings - this is because ESTJs have Feeling in their inferior slot, while ISTJs have it in their Tertiary (compare her to ISTJ Junna, who as a class leader actively goes out of her way to interact with the other girls and make sure everyone’s included, while Akira bothers herself only with the Edels). ESTJ’s extroversion instead manifests in their desire to control, order, and yes, be on top, just like Akira’s ENTJ cousin Claudine. Akira is a Te dom and Si aux, so she’s all about leading by example and doing it by the tried-and-true. This is why she fits so well into the role of the quintessential emperor/king, but as I mentioned with her inferior Fi, doesn’t actually have any charisma beyond what Fe-dom Michiru has manufactured for her (it's explicitly stated that Akira is even more revered than Edels of old - yes, due to her phenomenal and unparalleled talent, but also because Michiru actively works to cultivate an image that makes her untouchable). This is exactly why her relationship with Michiru works so well. It’s only natural that two extroverted judgers aimed for Siegfeld - and absolutely thrive there.

Her tertiary Ne, meanwhile, is why a lot of people (myself included) love her interactions with Yachiyo and Aruru (Ne doms). Akira’s Ne and Fi are weak, but she’s very smart and - contrary to first impressions - isn’t a stubborn person when she trusts the competency of the people around her (Te). And that’s thanks to her Ne. She lives for the stage, it’s her pride and joy, and when she sees people who are doing something that pay ode to it well - whether that’s ENFP Aruru’s excitable and childlike Ne-Fi or ENTP Yachiyo’s more pragmatic and intellectually curious Ne-Ti, she is quick to place her trust in them. Akira surprises the other two school leaders in the event story when she tells them they’d be wise to learn from Karen and Aruru’s senses of wonder, and Yachiyo’s passion for the stage - though wildly different from Akira’s own - is what makes her confident in her decision to pass the throne off to her.

Shiori Yumeoji: ISFJ

A PERFECT example of using dominant Si is when Shiori inhabits the role of the Chariot to draw out the strength and energy she needs during her revue with Michiru - introverted Sensing is all about deriving from past experiences and using them to inform the present!

And she and Tamao are!! The same!! Type!! Which is so interesting to me! ISFJs are so sweet and kind and caring (they and INFPs are actually often mistaken for each other - compare her to Mahiru!) - but there’s an inner fire to them that can be so easy to miss! I can’t think of a single fictional ISFJ I’ve met that didn’t, at some point, become incredibly insane and unhinged! I’m not sure what it is, but if I had to guess I think it’s that inferior Ne showing up, kicking down the door, and going “I’M HEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEE BITCHESSSSSSSSSS”

Anyway - textbook ISFJ. So, so sweet and demure (Si dominant, Fe auxiliary - both are so concerned with standards, group sentiment, how things were done before, how everyone is feeling - so so so accommodating but can end up becoming doormats). We see that Si a lot in her woes towards her sister - “we were supposed to do this, we were supposed to be this,” etc. etc...hell the only reason in the first place that she joins the Edels is because of her original promise with Fumi. Tend to keep their inner thoughts and machinations to themselves (Ti tertiary). Prone to snapping and going insane if they get pushed/bothered too much (Ne inferior) - I legitimately think that Ne is the scariest function to have in your inferior slot. Godspeed, ladies.

Another fun note: she and Yachiyo are polar opposites, something I never noticed until just now. Interesting lmao

Liu Mei Fan: ENFJ

I had to check her PDB page to get her type because I honestly had no clue! She was the most difficult for me! But after seeing her listed as ENFJ I went “...hm?” and then went “oh yeah.”. Because she reminds me of Sonia Nevermind from Dangan Ronpa LMAOOOOO. FORGIVE ME FOR THIS COMPARISON. IT’S NOT BECAUSE OF THE EXCHANGE STUDENT THING!! They just have the same personality type, and it kind of manifests itself in the same way - despite the stereotype being that Fe doms are always very socially conscious and suave, these two are both a quirkier/more awkward type of ENFJ, and at first glance both could pass off as their happy-go-luckier ENFP or ESFP cousins instead...if you’re just looking at the letters. But when you look at their actual functions, they’re both ENFJ as they come! See how different two people of the same type can be?! She and Michiru share a type! Mei Fan is a well-meaning, driven Fe-dom in a strict Si-heavy environment like Siegfeld’s, and it’s SO funny to watch her dominant Fe desperately try to adjust her personality as she goes to fit in properly (while Michiru watches like 🙂 , Shiori is right there with her desperately adjusting (Fe aux), and Yachiyo doesn’t give a shit and does her own thing anyway). Our beloved shimbo has Ti in her last slot which isn’t surprising given her penchant to speak before she thinks, and Se in her tertiary slot which shows up in, again, her physicality (MUSCLEMAN MEI FAN HIGH-INTENSITY JOCK TRAINING IN THE MOUNTAINS). Aux Ni showed itself in that ceaseless determination to become an Edel, and her constant work towards shaping herself into an ideal one to impress Akira (and achieve her own goals in surpassing Akira herself!). Just compare her to dom Ne Yachi, who could care less about any of that stuff and goes her own way.

Yachiyo Tsuruhime: ENTP

“What do I wish for? World peace and happiness for everyone, I guess.” The moment I saw this homescreen quote I knew she was an ENTP - somebody else on her PDB page actually pointed it out too lmao. ENTPs are the “devil’s advocate” type which can lead to ruffling a lot of other peoples’ feathers, but Yachiyo is a bit suaver than that (developed tertiary Fe). Granted, she doesn’t escape the stereotype completely - she has a lot of fun in teasing the Fe-aux and Fe-dom Shiori and Mei Fan respectively, though she would never dare to do the same to Michiru. As we learn through the main story, there’s something that appears insidious about her at first glance - but that’s genuinely all it is, a first impression. She keeps to herself, yes, but Yachiyo’s an actress to the core, and her greatest love is the stage, just like (if not more than) all of the other girls around her. Yachiyo’s unique in that she breaks some of the typical Starira model of seeing her partner as her greatest inspiration - she’s not invested in a person like Shiori is with her sister or Michiru and Mei Fan are in Akira - Yachiyo pursues the stage solely for her own fulfillment and desires. Everything is a curiosity to her (Ne feeding Ti - how can I make sense of this world, and what can I do for myself to gain access to more information and experiences, because I’m always, always hungry for more). Her inferior Si shows up in how much she contrasts Akira, who is an Si-aux - just look at the unconventional way she found to practice her acting (pretending to be a spy snooping on the Edels), compared to Akira’s more conventional methods of stringent, scheduled practice.

[philtatosbuck]

hello, it's me, i've returned. i see a LOT of people criticizing the fact rebekah became friends with cami/davina/hayley but not the girls from tvd (ngl, it's mostly just people complaining she isn't friends with caroline) and apparently they chalk it up to those three being mary sues instead of them having personalities that don't clash rebekah's as violently as caroline does soooooo this is gonna be a post discussing that! it's not necessarily anti anyone, but it's critical of caroline's slut-shaming tendencies.

caroline and rebekah already started off on the wrong foot, and rebekah deliberately antagonized her for fun but even when they were on a neutral ground, they could barely stand each other. caroline made a point of repeatedly slut-shaming rebekah (among other female characters but that's another post) or using klaus' 'feelings' for her against him in order to hurt their family. the ONE moment of decency the two had for each other was when they shared condolences over esther and alaric. the only other time they 'got along' was when matt was around and they didn't get along so much at all, rebekah was being civil while caroline made her dislike of her very clear.

just because they both clearly like to be in control and have 'party planner' tendencies (as that's often a BIG point of people claiming they'd be best friends) doesn't mean they'll automatically get along. in fact, i'd argue that it's a contender for one of the biggest reasons they wouldn't get on as well as people like to think. caroline isn’t very mature during the point in her life where she knows rebekah, and rebekah does nothing but pointedly enrage her even more.

to caroline's credit, she was a teenager, it's whatever. maybe seasons 7-8 caroline (regardless of your opinion of her character at that point) who had matured quite a bit would have been able to get along with rebekah but slut-shaming, immature, shrieking use-klaus'-feelings-for-me-against-him/his family caroline? yeah right.

now let's discuss a few reasons rebekah potentially gets along with hayley, cami, davina, etc.

hayley; let me just say i don't think hayley and rebekah would have sought each other out to be friends if hayley hadn't gotten pregnant. i am acknowledging that they wouldn't run in the same circles or would have made an effort to protect each other, but she did get pregnant, so let's just talk about it. right at that first meeting, hayley establishes herself to rebekah as someone who is blunt, uninterested in petty high school feuds and quite frankly doesn't plan to let klaus control her. she further warms rebekah up to her by giving her the daggers, establishing to rebekah that she understands why she's so upset at klaus and doesn't try to excuse it like elijah so often has. while searching for elijah, they are each other's only allies because neither one of them truly trusts klaus. to hayley, rebekah has established herself as someone who will do anything for her family and will take on any fight, even one against klaus, for the people she loves. i mean, honestly? it kind of explains itself. hayley grew to like rebekah's brash personality despite the fact she "has klaus' manners" because it's clear to hayley that there is MORE to rebekah than just that and rebekah grew to respect hayley as more than just the mother of her niece because hayley was headstrong, she fought for her loved ones just as much as rebekah did and she was well and truly on her side when it mattered. their friendship was built on understanding, begrudging respect and genuine care on both sides.

cami; i'm pretty sure they sort of disliked each other at first? rebekah was jealous of cami because of marcel and cami could kind of tell, feel it out. i actually wouldn't classify them as 'friends' so much as they know each other and care for each other on the basis of them mattering to the people they love. that being said, rebekah clearly likes cami after a certain point and values her in her family's life. i'd argue this is because cami has come to fight for her family despite having no obligation to do so. i'm glad their friendship didn't actually become more to the point of best friends. to me, that would have been unrealistic. i think their "we know each other, and we would fight for each other, but we're definitely the type of friends who never hang even though we could" fits them perfectly. rebekah will ultimately always be a little bit jealous of a special woman in klaus' life as she was the only one for a thousand years (none of the others lasted) but she respects cami to a point where she doesn't bash, antagonize or try to hurt her.

davina; their friendship was.... Shaky at best. but rebekah did see a bit of herself in davina, and even said as much. she ultimately grew to care for her, and truly liked the girl. beyond kol, rebekah is the mikaelson davina "respects" the most (it's ultimately back and forth as hell, but she certainly respects her more than klaus, elijah, finn or freya). they aren't truly close by any means but they are at least openly friendly with each other when they aren't on opposing sides. which again, i think is realistic considering everything that happened with them.

[jellyluchi]

I love shopping for dresses soooooo much shopping with Pros brainrot, most of the times it's him who takes you to try on dresses. But what if you got to make him try in suits and accessories too? Just thought of walking arm in arm through a shopping complex with him sounds so fun, part of the experience is dressing cute and showing each other off to people subtly. Debating between dresses because he likes one color but you like another, or he thinks a sweetheart neckline is better than a square one. It's never serious but it's fun to try on no matter what, he makes you feel like the most beautiful person in literally anything you try on. Maybe it's not dresses, maybe you try seperate skirts and pants, blouses, shirts, tops. But he's not just a yes man, he truly tells you whats most flattering and perfect for your body and in turn you get to see him in different colors, maybe hats and sunglasses, necklaces, and chokers too. It doesn't even matter if you're going to buy them or not (maybe he will insist on buying at least one of the dresses because he's too enthralled with how you look in it) but that you get to spend time laughing and smiling with him by your side. And later when you go to eat afterwards it feels warm as you hold his hand over the table and get to see him laugh genuinely at a silly joke. Maybe you started out sitting quite far from each other but over the course of time you find yourself pressed to his side about to go in for a gentle kiss to end your evening happily.

[writing-fool]

mlqc | think of you somehow

I recently thought to start incorporating Shaw too. So, here is his debut on my page! I’m currently working on a fantasy!au for Kiro, a harrypotter!au for Victor and a couple of other things. Unfortunately, those will have to wait a little, since I have an entrance exam coming up next week. I have another thing queued up for the day after this, so stay tuned!

Someone in the discord group had to help me for Gavin; I didn’t have too much inspiration for that one...

As always, enjoy!

Love,

R.

Warning(s): profanity, kinda. slight suggestive content

Victor

we all know Victor’s a huge tsundere who never learnt how to express his feelings in a normal way that doesn’t give you a headache.

i swear, why do i love him so much 

he never gets needy, or so he says he sulks when you don’t give him his goodbye kiss after handing over a report at LFG

aaaand he needs a morning kiss before leaving for work anyways Victor doesn’t get needy

you’re his little recharge mechanism though, his little charging pod i’m currently imagining a roomba pfft

even he, a magical, genius CEO, gets exhausted sometimes

it’s not always fun. sure, he’s a total capitalistic tool, but business meetings with old men who think they can earn investments while ‘subtly’ looking down on him for his age aren’t a doozy.

don’t get me wrong, Victor never loses his composure, and due to being an extrovert (he’s not loud, but he’s not a person who gets energy from being alone perse, imo. besides, he’s a good leader, so extrovert seems likely, although he has a lot of introvert traits too.) he’s genuinely good at socialising

doesn’t mean he always likes it.

you often notice when he’s tired 

when he gets home, you’ll usually be there already because your work just ends sooner on most days. he’ll set down his suitcase, hang his coat in the little closet by the door, take his shoes off, and prepare dinner

you’re probably kind of just there, chatting with him about his day while he cooks

he doesn’t allow you to work with knives at home because he’s overprotective you hurt yourself once

you might help a little, or get some work done by the table. Victor also had a piano put in the living area of the open complex penthouse, so you’ll play a tune sometimes. seems like he likes classical the most

Victor’s at-home appearance is a little different from his usual one. he still looks pretty clean and put-together, but he sheds his blazer (and vest) and socks. you two have matching slippers, so Victor wears his grey slippers with little cat faces on them (you have little beige slippers with dog faces on them)

when cooking, Victor rolls up his sleeves or switches to a v-neck sweater (during winter). his hair’s a bit fluffier than it usually is. all in all, a relaxed look.

after dinner, he’ll disappear for a little bit, doing some work before he it gets too late because he wants to spend time with you

usually, you’re lounging on the couch, reading or watching tv unless there’s a deadline then you’re a total mess working until late at night AND VIC HATES IT

he’ll come back into the living room from his home office, come up behind the sofa and just hug you while leaning down

“Hey handsome, you tired?” you ask. You reach your hand up, scratching the soft hairs at the nape of Victor’s neck while a relieved sigh passes through his lips.

Victor moves to the couch with you, and you know he’s Done with work for the day. he doesn’t even say anything, just relishes in your presence

he gets a bit touch-starved on occasions like these, so he’ll sit on the sofa and just pick you up and plop you on his lap. 

but like, in a koala way. that makes very little sense, huh. you’ll be straddling him, pressing your chest up against his and put your chin on his shoulder. your hands are around his neck and his are somewhere around your waist. 

you just sit there, maybe kissing a little, most likely pressing little kisses on each other’s collarbones/neck no hickies because you guys are pretty important people with quite the image well, can’t say it never happened before though, can you~

Victor’s totally in his safe spot here, so if he does say something in this moment, it’s not some guarded/sarcastic comment. he’s vulnerable and honest, so “I love you”s are not rare at all here. 

he might purr if you scratch his head. maaybe. don’t ask whether author Ré sees Victor Li as a cat...

10/10 Victor will carry you to bed like this. brush your teeth before because there’s no way this man is letting you go. 

Lucien

uhh to this day, i don’t think anyone really knows the extent of Lucien’s thoughts

like, in a sense, he’s a lot more guarded than, say, Victor, but they do say the best lies are ones shrouded in truth so the feelings he shows outwardly may actually resemble his actual ones atm

so...i wouldn’t say he gets very needy at all. not according to the standard definition, anyways

if he wants a kiss, he steals one from you. if he wants a hug, he’ll fluster you by backhugging you. if he wants to make out, he’ll push you against the nearest surface and steal your breath away. if he wants something more, he’ll make sure to rile you up until you’re in the mood for ehem. my fingers must’ve slipped...

Lucien’s modus operandi is definitely ‘take what i want when i want it’ in your relationship WITH CONSENT. HE’S NOT AN ASS.

he comes on strong, he’s smooth and he’s devilishly handsome. as a result, he’s often initiating any affection you guys have. 

so, while he’s not necessarily needy, he can’t shake the idea that maybe you don’t want him like he wants you. Lucien get that thought out of your head you two are domestic goals. he was stuck in a period of unrequited love for a while, sort of, so he thinks that he could handle being the one in the relationship that loves the other more. 

but the thought of you not loving him as uncontrollably, frighteningly, irrevocably as he loves you scares him to the very core of his being. because he’s in deep. 

there’s also the factor of him knowing that he doesn’t deserve you after all he’s done. but yet, you’re here with him.

so...Lucien knows it’s childish when he drops his head onto your lap while you’re reading on the couch Lucien: *sees your lap* it’s free real estate

he pretends it’s because he wants to take a nap. but actually he wants to see whether you’re affectionate when he’s not the one instigating it. 

either you’re just too embarrassed to do so when he’s taking initiative, or you’re not all that into him. i wrote about Luci’s love language being touch, so he probably sees you not touching him as a sign that you don’t love him

i’m not saying it’s a dealbreaker if you don’t like physical affection, but it’d take longer for him to open up to someone who’s not comfortable with his touch

anyways, almost immediately after he closes his eyes, you thread your fingers through his soft hair, raking them lightly over his scalp.

“You must be truly tired, falling asleep like this. Poor Lucien.Take care of yourself, my foolish professor.” and his heart shatters in Soft™

slowly, you shift to bend down, and Lucien feels your soft lips kissing his forehead, his nose, his cheek and finally landing on his lips. he smiles in that last one.

it’s not a sensual kiss, just an innocent, loving one. and Luci realises that yeah, you’re just as gone for him as he is for you. Maybe, you’re not the caged butterfly in this relationship...

he actually dozes off to the feeling of your hands in his hair, sometimes moving to gently brush a thumb over his cheek, sometimes pulling away to flip a page in your book. 

when he wakes up, there’s a blanket covering him and a soft pillow under his head

the hazy, irrational part of him makes him jump up, thinking you’ve gone after all. maybe it was all just a dream. one too good to be true.

but the melodic humming in the kitchen and the mugs filled with piping hot tea on the coffee table tell him you’re real, and you’re here with him

afterwards, Lucien naps on your lap more often. they’re his favourite treat

sometimes, you read to him, lulling him to sleep with your voice

honestly, domestic moments like this almost make Lucien want to cry out in joy because he never thought this was something he’d ever have.

well, they did say to treasure the little things in life...

Gavin

i’d say Gav’s a good 6.83 on the needy scale

he could be a 7.91 to be honest, so he has needy potential, but this man’s too shy to be needy

i mean, if you ever kiss him or hold his hand in public, his ears turn red and he’s an incoherent mess for like 10 minutes.

proceed with caution. or not. muahahaha

i think in a way, he grew up with the notion that he was a nuisance too yes, yes, we all want to deck Gavin’s dad in the face so he’s afraid to be vulnerable and needy with you.

MC: *pats Gavin’s hair.* this bad boy can fit so many daddy issues in it

ANYWAYS, the most this baby does is call you when he misses you

“I-I just wanted to hear your voice, okay?”

doesn’t really initiate a ton of affection either. 

again, he could...but he holds back. also he’s just so respectful of your boundaries and would rather have you indicate what you like in the relationship.

honestly he loves it when you snuggle up to him anyways soooooo...

but there are times when even Birdcop completely breaks and just needs you to be there for him

Gav does value communication, so he will actually ask for cuddles if he’s THAT needy such a healthy relationship dynamic

doesn’t happen a lot, but when it does...

you’ll be at home when he comes home from a mission. he’s had a pretty intense day, and now he just wants to unwind with you

this darling sheepishly walks up to you.

and as you turn around to greet him, he’ll ask 

“Can...I hold you?”

you drop EVERYTHING you’re doing because the moment he asks for hugs, it’s serious.

cuddles with Gavin are a 100% engagement kind of thing. you can’t do anything else, you’re stuck in his arms for a while

you guys usually move to the rug in the living room. not the sofa, which seems weird, but Gavin’s a tall gangly boy, measuring at 181 cm or 5′11″ I’m using the imperial system for you guys *grumble*

the sofa is just not big enough to fit his long legs comfortably when he’s laying down, and his neck hurts 

also, it’s not optimal for big bear hugs

Why not use the bed? i hear you ask. BECAUSE IT’S NOT RIGHT.

anyways, on extra effort days, you’ll make a pillow fort, but usually he just takes a pillow, a blanket and flops on the floor

cuddle hours are spent talking. no phones, maybe some music, but all-in-all they’re just times to open up, which is kind of rare for someone so rough around the edges

he turns to absolute putty when you start rubbing his stomach under his shirt this is canon don’t @ me

“Mmm...don’t do that,” he whines groans.

“You seem to be enjoying it, though?”

“Mm...no.” you liar.

honestly in like a realistic, domestic setting, a relationship with Gavin would be one of the healthiest ones within the five boys. 

he cherishes you so much, and definitely tries his best to be open with you, even though he’s experienced things that make trusting others difficult.

because if there’s one person in the whole wide world he would trust, it’d be you. 

Kiro

needy? you mean, Kiro all day, every day?

this boy loves you with all he has and the day he doesn’t show you how loved you are and how much he literally worships the ground you walk on is the day hell freezes over.

kissing, hugging, being cutesy, gifts, matching clothing, fun outings, food. ANYTHING

to be honest, he likes being with you in general, and would probably never leave your side if he didn’t have to

Kiro trusts you enough to share his entire world with you, fully knowing that he’s taking the risk of exposing himself like this. he knows that if this doesn’t work out, he’ll never be able to enjoy his world again because you’re so ingrained in it.

but the thought of not committing to you with his entire being doesn’t even cross his mind obviously, y’all are endgame so don’t even try to break up with this pupper

he tries to make up for your busy schedules with extra affection most of the time too

but actually, Kiro doesn’t just resort to hugging you in his arms, peppering kisses all over your face and not letting you go for hours when he’s lonely although he does do this. it’s just not something he does when he reaaally missed you. 

when he’s having a bad day and needs you the most, he’ll drag you out for some hotpot at night

it sounds silly, doesn’t it? but over a steaming pot of broth with various dishes, he sees your face and he feels at home. i mean, he loves food, he loves you. what’s better than a combination of both?

you laugh, chat and be as loud as you want. Kiro doesn’t have to disguise himself in the little shop at 2 am

the restaurant owner loves you guys, and gives you free beef on many occasions

he thinks you guys remind him of him and his wife when they were younger, although he jokes that Kiro’s a just a tad more handsome than he used to be~

Kiro likes feeding you and loves how you used to be so embarrassed about it. nowadays, you laugh and accept the food like you’re used to it, and somehow, that makes his heart soar

you take the long way home, walking back to your large shared flat under the night sky

Loveland City’s never fully quiet, but at least the people at that time don’t bother him. they’re either too drunk, or too stuck in their own thoughts. let’s face it, people who have their life together don’t wander around sober and alone at 3 am.

Kiro sometimes misses being invisible, but he also knows that he’s doing good by being who he is in this life. being a celebrity is tough, but intimate moments like these do kind of make it bearable

he holds you by the waist, enjoying the view with a serene smile and a full stomach by the view, he means you for the most part

“Hmm...Miss Chips, do you know how beautiful you look right now?”

your lipstick’s worn off, sweat’s cooling down on your face and your makeup’s smudged, but in that moment, Kiro thinks you’re the most ethereal being in the whole universe.

because you’re the only one who he would want to do this with. you’re the only one who would enjoy the night with him, stranded in this strange, thick atmosphere of melancholy and happiness.

one time, maybe a few months ago, it rained when you two exited the hotpot joint

instead of buying umbrellas at a nearby convenience store, you ran down the streets, jumping in puddles and laughing your asses off

Kiro swears he fell in love with you all over again that day.

Shaw

yah...i never really know what to call Shaw’s personality

he’s kind of a tsundere, but not in the way Victor is? he teases the shit out of you when he has feelings for you, but he’s also kind of a douche about it

and he’ll probably never admit how precious you are to him also he probably thinks he doesn’t deserve you

i love this little bastard but i get SO fed up with him

this boy doesn’t even actually take you on proper dates

like, it’s either university café, impromptu graffiti trips which to be honest might be an actual date or going to a club which could be a date but when you’re in a relationship with Shaw it kind of isn’t bcs he’s there 7/7

anyways, he doesn’t do the whole ‘love’ thing very well. he’s fine with PDA, so he’ll full on snog you in the club or reach over the table to lick whipped cream off of your face last time you’re ordering a frappuccino with whipped cream 

but he does it mostly to get a reaction

it’s not insincere, but he also doesn’t view PDA as a loving gesture perse

will not be honest with his words. don’t expect it. he’s built a shield around himself and therefore literally doesn’t know how to talk to someone kindly.

but...he tries.

Shaw’s most vulnerable and needy moment is the early morning

it’s not at night, cos he spends nights out partying or having a one-night stand what? he’s a healthy, viral boy!

his one-night stands never saw him in the morning because he’s honestly the type to hit and run i’m sorry how was i supposed to say this or alternatively to kick his partner out at 4 am

but you’re his first actual love, and even he knows you don’t kick your lover out if you give a damn about the relationship 

it was a big step for him to feel comfortable with you...but he doesn’t regret it one bit he probably won’t tell you that though

anyways, Shaw’s groggy morning voice makes you delirious BUT that’s a little besides the point

you wake up in each other’s arms

if you wake up first, you’ll probably stare at his face for a while until he does and inevitably says “What? Am I that handsome, huh?” secretly thrives off of your compliments 

if he wakes up first, he’ll probably wake you up by tickling you or touching you in some way ehem innocently Minor made me clarify it

any way it happens, you guys participate in some good morning spoonage

Shaw loves burying his head in your neck to press kisses and love bites there, smell your scent and hide the blushing face that is so very rare

finally one thing the brothers have in common

he’s aware he’s being a little too sappy for his own liking, but it feels wrong to ruin the morning mood with a snarky comment when you look so soft under the beams of sunlight flooding his bedroom

so he says nothing, and keeps you wrapped in his arms

in a moment of serene bliss, you hum and say “I love you.” 

as a response, this boy squeezes you a little tighter, buries his head a tad deeper in the crook of your neck

“Shut up.”

you know him well enough to know he’s feeling embarrassed, so you wriggle out of his grasp and turn around

Shaw whines a little when he’s forced to loosen his grasp

you look straight at his face, finding him even cuter when his mischievous smirk is replaced by a pouty scowl

“I love you, I love you, I love you I love you I love you love you loveyouloveyou,” you repeat, watching his face grow redder and redder

he groans audibly. “Shut up!” but he can’t help but smile at your gleeful giggles

“What? I do! I love you so much, Shaw.”

he kisses you to shut you up, but it’s not one of those fast, rough, wild kisses

it’s...tender. 

he cradles you in his arms, trying to convey how he feels through a kiss

“‘Love you,” he mutters against your lips.

“What was that?” you tease him.

“Nothing.”

“Aw, come on! One more time?” 

“Nope.” yup, he tries. 

I’ve been doing a lot of picture editing for all of my posts...but I think these will be the official ‘character separators’ since I don’t have the energy or will to make new ones for every fanfic...post banners are still a thing for every post though.

[luckystarchild]

I was discussing this with my writing group earlier and decided that I wanted to collect some more opinions on this, so what're your thoughts on reviews that start out with "I don't really like oc-driven/centric stories, but―" or reviews worded to a similar effect/to the same tune? Personally I just don't find them to be as much of a compliment as the reviewer thinks it is, and wish people wouldn't preface a review with such info.

Soooooo there’s a lot to unpack here. I’ll do it in stages. Sorry if this is more than you wanted... I take asks too seriously sometimes. XD

Why do these types of reviews feel insulting?

The reason these kinds of reviews might not feel so great to the recipient is because they pair a compliment with a qualifier. And combining a compliment with a qualifier is how you structure a backhanded compliment.

Example of pairing a compliment with a qualifier, AKA a backhanded compliment: “Your old haircut was terrible, but your new one is much better.”

The “but” is key here. The compliment-giver said something nice about your appearance, yes, but now you’re walking around feeling badly about the last ten years of your old hairstyle, wondering if everyone who looked at you while you had that old haircut was calling you ugly behind your back.

When someone says, “Normally I hate stories like yours, BUT...” they’re using the structure of a backhanded compliment to pay you a (hopefully legit) compliment. They’re calling you an exception. You’re writing something that’s normally terrible, but you managed to squeak by with something acceptable (against all odds).

Even though you’re an exception, you’re left wondering if other people hate your story because of its sheer concept just like the reviewer initially did. And because they used the structure of a backhanded compliment to express their feelings, you’re left feeling like you did indeed receive a backhanded compliment, even if that wasn’t the reviewer’s intention.

After all, the recipient of a review can’t read a reviewer’s tone. All they can see is how the review was structured, and when the reviewer used the structure of a backhanded compliment, that’s what the recipient feels like they were given.

By pairing the positive with a negative, the reviewer has potentially cancelled out the good, leaving the recipient to focus on the bad. And since humans are hardwired for negative bias, it’s no wonder many people come away from a compliment + qualifier feeling like they’ve been insulted instead of complimented. They can’t help but focus on the bad more than the good, the insult more than the compliment.

What are reviewers REALLY trying to say?

Next we should discuss what reviewers are actually trying to say when they leave reviews of this kind. There are two possible scenarios to consider.

Possibility #1: They’re legitimately trying to pay you a compliment, but they aren’t thinking about how you’ll receive it or what they might be inadvertently implying by using the structure of a backhanded compliment. They actually, truly believe that you would want to know that you are an exception to their reading rules, and that this fact is a high honor. You’ve done something so well, they don’t even care what genre your story is! Your work is great, and the fact that they’d normally hate it due to its genre is AMAZING. You’ve changed their minds about a genre! You defied expectations! They were determined to not like your story, but it’s too good! You broke through their preconceived notions of what they like and MADE THEM LIKE SOMETHING with your writing skill. It’s not a feat all stories can achieve, so the reviewer thinks you should wear that as a badge of honor.

Possibility #2: They’re actually paying you a backhanded compliment and are hoping you’ll get upset. They want you to know they liked your work... but they secretly still think it’s silly, or stupid, or cringe. I won’t elaborate on this opinion because I think we’ll all fill in the blanks with our own worst fears, so there’s no need for me to do the heavy lifting when it comes to this kind of horror.

Which of these things do reviewers actually intend? I can’t say. This is obviously up to the receiver of a particular review to decide. I personally remind myself of Hanlon’s Razor whenever possible: “In misunderstandings, never assume malice where thoughtlessness will do.” It doesn’t necessarily amend the hurt I might feel, depending on how the review is worded and how severe the backhanded compliment structure is... but it does help me make peace with it.

What’s my personal opinion on the matter?

I’m of two minds.

Mind the First: It’s awesome to convert someone to a genre of story they previously hated. OC fics get a (frankly undeserved) bad rap, so I understand that an inevitable portion of readers will come into OC stories predisposed to disliking them. Knowing someone clicked on my story thinking they’d hate it, only to come to love it, is pretty great. It’s like you’ve given other OC fics a chance by being a good representative of that fanfic genre.

Mind the Second: In general, using the structure of a backhanded compliment to pay someone a genuine compliment is confusing and can be an example of poor communication if it’s not worded with enough clarity. Additionally, “I thought I’d hate your story” might be true for a reader, but it probably isn’t a necessary thing to tell an author. Just because you CAN say something doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Personal Anecdote: A reviewer once told me of my main work, Lucky Child: “I clicked on this story to laugh at it and mock the concept, because it’s sooooo cringey, buuuut... it’s actually pretty great and I grudgingly respect the work you’ve done on it.”

The rest of the review was lovely and very complimentary, but knowing they came to my story intending to make fun of it, being told I wrote for a cringe concept, that they only “grudgingly” respected me... wasn’t the best. Largely because I am secretly afraid that people feel that way, so their review was confirming something I secretly dread. “How many other people are think my concept is cringey?” I found myself worrying. And the word “grudging” made me feel like they resented me for converting them to OC stories, which made me feel... not the best.

I genuinely believe they were trying to be nice and pay me a compliment NOW, but I will admit that I was somewhat unsettled by the comment when it first came in. There were better ways they could have communicated with me, for sure. Again, Hanlon’s Razor came in handy in this instance, and now I look at that review (and reviews like it) positively. But it did take me a while to put aside the negative implications. It helps that Lucky Child gets a comment like this every few weeks, LOL. At some point I’ve gotten used to them. Now I wear them as badges of honor and love receiving them. AGAIN, THOUGH: I’ve had practice. Authors less used to that kind of comment would likely respond the way I did at the beginning.

In conclusion?

In the end, I think using the structure of a backhanded compliment is confusing as heck when what a reviewer INTENDS to do is pay a genuine compliment.

So to reviewers who want to leave remarks like these? I’d say try to structure your comment in a clear way, avoid structuring a compliment like an insult, and be sure you’re not leaving room for miscommunication. Writers are notoriously sensitive creatures (myself included), and their command of language means they’ll read VERY DEEPLY into things if you’re at all ambiguous. Clarity, in all things, is key.

Honestly? Times like these are why I wish we taught more rhetoric in schools. The MANNER in which you communicate a thought can completely negate the CONTENT of your thought if you don’t use the right rhetorical device to communicate it, and using the rhetoric of insults to convey compliments is bad use of language. Mind your rhetorical devices, people! They’re important, especially if you consider yourself a writer.

To writers who receive these comments? I’d say to write down a version of Hanlon’s Razor and to repeat it to yourself often: “In misunderstandings, never assume malice where thoughtlessness will do.” I’m not saying all reviewers who leave this kind of comment are thoughtless, of course. But I AM saying that most of the time during misunderstandings (especially ones that take place on the internet, where you can’t read tone, body language and facial expression), people just don’t realize that their words can be misconstrued for anything other than what they intended. Most of the time, they have the best intentions. But since outcome is more important than intention, that can be cold comfort for those on the receiving end of a badly communicated review.

TL;DR for Reviewers: Don’t leave comments like these if you don’t want to be misunderstood.

TL;DR for Writers: Don’t take comments like these personally, because most reviewers don’t mean them maliciously.

I hope this helps, OP. Sorry if it’s too much!!

[loseyoutoloveme]

will you do a song by song review for life support? i really liked the ones for sweetener and thank you next!

oh absolutely, i’d love to! thank you for asking and being interested 🖤 all thoughts below.

the beginning:

this was such a great way to open this album, it’s so cinematic and really sets the mood so perfectly. one of my fav instrumental intros i’ve ever heard.

9/10

good in goodbye: “you put the over in lover, put the ex in next.”

the lyrics are so wonderfully corny and i’ll love this song forever, like the chorus is literally just so fun to sing along to.

i do think it feels a little... shallow compared to the rest of the album, and the album being released so long after this song came out makes it feel disconnected from the rest. but i love it so i don’t care.

7.5/10 

default: “i know, i know this must be coming for me, i swear, i swear i will be the end of me, the end of me.”

this song is just sooo...... OUCH!

i’m obsessed with the way the chorus just SOUNDS like an emotional spiral, like her life falling apart, like falling into a deep depression, and then the outro builds like destructive racing thoughts.

also i never noticed the wave crashing and the bubbles at the very beginning until really recently, and i love that little touch. the whole song feels so underwater. cloudy and fuzzy. it does a good job of depicting certain symptoms of various mental illnesses.

8.5/10

follow the white rabbit: “is it haunting, baby, that i’m wanting, baby, that i’m wanting, wanting you?”

i actually was fully not expecting to like this that much based off the snippets she’d shared, but omg this left me WEAAAAK on first listen, which was the best surprise

there are definitely so many layers to these lyrics too, despite it being just a bombastic sexy toxic love song on its surface, particularly when thinking about the album as a commentary on mental illness, and some of the breakup/love songs as metaphors rather than straightforward love songs. definitely about infatuation and toxicity and perhaps knowingly entering a bad relationship as a bad coping mechanism, a way to avoid dealing with your pain or (as we see in effortlessly) a way to just feel anything at all.

9/10

effortlessly: “i hold my breath to breathe, hurt me so i feel, used to do these things so effortlessly somehow.”

oh god this song is just a punch in the stomach

i ALSO didn’t really expect to love this one based on snippets but the lyrics are just devastating and perfect and i hope speak to anybody who has struggled with self-harm and medication.

i don’t even have thoughts on this song, it just makes me go jsn*@(#nkdasdnkasd7*@U#j2k3n

love that this is such a fan favourite. it deserves!

10/10

stay numb and carry on: “truth is it was never love, your fault if you thought it was.”

the reverse “i’ve become emotionless” at the beginning >>>

also love the “i was gin and you were toxic . . . wish we’d just stayed plaTONIC” like a platonic relationship would be the opposite of toxic. it’s such fun wordplay.

also “i don’t feel like anyone” makes me emo, she really just slid the most simple but heartbreaking lines in everywhere and you don’t notice them until they hit you out of nowhere one day and you’re like ...OH

AND THE WAY HER VOICE STARTS TO GO MONOTONE AT “i’ve become emotionless” 

in conclusion, madison beer is a vessel for god

10/10

blue: “you could be as sweet as honey but i knew the darkness in your mind.”

this is my least favourite on the album but it’s still fantastic

the lana influence is clear without being too copycat, like it’s still SO madison. sorta like lana’s video games modernized and adapted into something truer to madison’s vibe.

love love love the whole outro

glad that this wasn’t a single like it was planned to be

7/10

interlude: “would you do that shit for me too?”

VOCODER RIGHTS

this album in general is just not really for people who don’t like vocoders and lots of technical effects. i looove that she leaned into it so hard bc it’s so HER.

this song also has so much depth for an interlude, relaying the experience of feeling SO hard about people, and realizing like you’re putting in way more than you’re getting back.

the post-chorus is like... 🤩🌌💫☄️🌠

7.5/10

homesick: “these humans speak my language, still don’t understand it.”

THIS SONG...... IS MY BABY......

oh god it just breaks my heart on every listen. the image in my head is of a little girl talking to the stars.

and why does the line about her mom and dad make me wanna cry every time? i have no idea.

I BELONG IN SPACE...... FLOATING WITH DEBRIS.......

i’m sure she’s not the first person to ever use this metaphor for mental illness, expressing the alienation of mental illness (especially one as stigmatized and misunderstood as bpd) by talking about LITERAL aliens sdkjfsdfksd, but she does it SOOOOO well and sincerely that it feels like it’s uniquely hers.

the rick & morty sample is so funny and so weird and so madison. i will probably never watch an episode of that show in my life.

10000000000/10 this song is the loml

selfish: “shouldn’t love you but i couldn’t help it, had a feeling that you never felt it.”

my absolute favourite of all of the singles, noooo question about it. it’s a perfect, perfect, perfect song.

two years, alone on new years’, nightclubs, gemini... women writing lyrics with very specific details about the shitty men that the song is about... it’s everything to me.

this song will just NEVER age. every time i listen to it, it’s like the first time all over again.

10/10

sour times: “don’t know what song of mine you heard that made you think i’d want to spend the night with you.”

home with you’s big sister<3 

not the strongest lyrics, but the concept and production are more than strong enough to carry the song.

she came on this bitch mad as hell

also love that this have been another fan favourite, seemingly??

men gross

9/10

boyshit: “don’t know how to talk or communicate, we’re so on and off, to you it’s a game.”

it took me awhile to get into this when it was a single ngl, probably because it came out the same night as evermore sjdknfsfnkjsd, but once i got into it, it became the best song ever

she’s soooo reliable with her “men ain’t shit” songs ugh

8.5/10

baby: “i’m a handful but that’s what hands are for.”

when this came out as a single it was the only thing i listened to for a solid week and a half. just an excellent song. the chorus is evvverrryttthhhiiinnnnggg.

WHAT IS IT SO CATCHY FOR?

9.5/10

stained glass: “my life’s a still fading memory of what i can’t have, and everything ’round me is starting to fade into black, but black and white is so much better, i’m learning how to hide my colours.”

i’m so surprised by how much non-stans seem to love this omg, it’s never been a fav of mine, as much as i still love it

but i’m obsessed with how different and distinctly madison it is

also this is a much more genuine take on the “pls stop being mean to me just bc i’m famous / you don’t know what people are going through” type of song than most of the others i’ve ever heard. her pain is evident, and the soft “i just might break” is just..... </3

the glass breaking and little scream are so good

she loves a good metaphor and so do i!

7.5/10 

emotional bruises: “how do i word this? was about to write you this letter, but it was just curses in cursive, you probably deserve it.”

this was definitely my most anticipated song along with everything happens for a reason, like i listened to the snippet on repeat CONSTANTLY lmao. and the full song definitely lived up.

the scribbling sound is so fun, i love her obsession with little real-life sound effects

10/10

everything happens for a reason: “i still can’t find a reason you’d wanna hurt me so bad.”

THIS SONG IS VERY MUCH EVERYTHING

again, this was for sure one of my most anticipated songs and just kjsadsdkajsm god i love love love it

i think she posted a video one time of the song over a clip of the mermaids from peter pan and it was so pretty and i still picture that video when i hear this song. it’s just soooooo hazy and dreamy and retro and perfect.

also the song on the album where she got to show off her vocals the most. she found her niche with this song, truly.

100/10

channel surfing/the end: “YOU’REBADFORMYHEALTHISHOULDPROLLYKEPTSOMEHELPICANTCONTROLMYSELFIMADDICTEDOTHEHELL”

oh my god i was FLOOOOOORED at the dear society clip. dear society was and is one of my FAVOURITE songs, and i appreciate her reasoning for not including it on the album (just wanting some space for a new song instead of one we’d already had for so long), but it did hurt a lil. i was so happy she found a little way to include it :’) rip to hurts like hell tho since she didn’t get the same treatment sjdnksd.

the channel surfing is also just such a fun concept for an outro.

and her laughing with her producers at the end followed by such a sweet calming tropical instrumental...... oooo it’s so nice, it feels like the calm after the storm.

10/10

overall, this album was just SO worth the wait, it’s so fantastic, it’s the loml, one of my favourite albums ever. i LOVE that it’s helped anyone with BPD feel seen and understood, and as someone who doesn’t have bpd but has a couple of loved ones who do, the emotions she expressed in these lyrics have helped me to understand this disorder more too. just such a special album.

most of the criticism i’ve seen of the album has been that it’s overproduced, and that’s definitely criticism that i understand, bc it IS heavy on the technical side and some people just don’t like very heavy production, buuuut... some people do! i do! madison does! and heavy production does not automatically make an album bad. this type of production isn’t something that i expect her to move away from, because it’s clearly her thing, and maybe that just means her place in the industry will be more with the heavy heavy pop fans and maybe even in more hyperpop circles. i also think it’s SUPPOSED to be overproduced; it’s supposed to be a mess of emotions and sometimes a little chaotic. she executed it very well.

i hope by the time her next album is out, people will stop comparing her to like every single artist out there. some reviewers seem determined to pigeonhole her and compare her to every female artist under the sun, which feels like an absolute disservice to me. she is influenced by many different people and they comes out in her music, as it does any artist’s because everybody has their inspirations, but her sound is VERY much her own. as someone who has liked her for years, i can absolutely feel her essence in each song and nobody else’s.

a 10/10 album and such an amazing, promising debut<3  

[authenticcadence18]

in the spirit of the other anon: what are some of your favorite pnf songs?? 👀

AHHH MADDY PLS YOU KNOW I LOVE MUSIC AND PHINEAS AND FERB THANK YOUUUU FOR THIS ASK. 

ok so! favorite songs! I’ve got a ton so let’s just jump right to it (see what i did there? lol)

What Might Have Been

This is my FAVORITE Phineas and Ferb song, I remember when whispers about a “Phinbella duet” first started circulating mid-2012 and being SO HYPED (I was so hyped I wrote my own Phinbella duet, lollllll. maybe I’ll post it sometime). I waited literal YEARS for this song and it was VERY WORTH THE WAIT. I love the instrumentation (the strings? the guitar? the drums? the hint of Isabella’s theme at the beginning of the third verse? a A H), the lyrics are just so heartfelt and sweet and poignant (with just a hint of trademark PnF humor thrown in, lol), and the vOCALS GOOD LORD, ALYSON AND VINCENT KILLED IT. And the harmonies at the end. Bless. AYA isn’t perfect but I ADORE “What Might Have Been.” Like, they really gave us a 3 1/2 minute long song of Isabella and Phineas singing about being in love. They did that for us. Sometimes, I listen to it on a loop when I need to focus...or just because I want to listen to it. It’s truly just. The best. Ah. My heart. This song deserves more mainstream attention dANG IT. 

Summer Belongs To You

This song is so uplifting and positive and the beginning is a Phinabella duet of COURSE I love it (i deeefinitely made a lil’ reference to it in a certain simile in chapter 9 of CHFIL, not sure if anyone caught that but writing it made me smile!). It always puts me in a good mood and makes me feel like I can accomplish anything. And it gets bonus points because it features Candace singing about loving her brothers!! SBTY is also one of the episodes that got me interested in the show, so this song holds a special place in my heart. 

City of Love

This song ALSO holds a special place in my heart. Like, it’s so sad but it’s so good. I love Isabella, and I feel for her (and when I first heard this song I could 100% relate to her plight, LOL). This is also the first PnF song I ever downloaded! So it’s very nostalgic and special to me. 

Us Against the Universe

I ADORE THIS SONGGG I ADORE IT SO MUCH OK IT’S JUST EVERYTHINGGG. It makes me feel ALL THE THINGS. It’s very similar to “Summer Belongs To You,” but rather than being rooted in nostalgia, it’s like a reminder that the characters are still as present and united as ever. A couple years ago, I never would’ve thought we’d get to hear the entire cast sing together ever again, so like....this song means the world to me. It’s a great song for 2020. 

The Universe is Against Me

This is ALSO the perfect song for 2020, but in a venting way as opposed to an uplifting way like the previous song. I love the imagery in the lyrics (and like...they’re surprisingly real and raw for Phineas and Ferb) Singing along to it is so cathartic, I could listen to this one on a loop and not get tired of it. 

Happy New Year

THIS SONG DESERVES TO BE ON AN ALBUM. I listen to it every new year; it really captures the feeling of New Year’s Eve and the celebration of starting over (and also. uh. I will forever associate it with Phinabella and lovely Phinabella vibes because of that scene of them dancing together).

Busted

Busted is iconic. Plain and simple. I adore it. Love the harmonies, love the vibe, I’m pretty sure this was the most listened to song on my old iPod, lol. 

Somebody Gimme a Grade

I was (and am...lol) 100% the kid who had to have the best grades they could, so this song speaks to me on an emotional level. I also love the clever wordplay--like, “you wasted all my time learning how to rhyme then left me hangin’ from a treble clef!” is sUCH A GOOD LINE LIKE WHO THOUGHT OF THAT IT’S BRILLIANT. I also love getting to see Baljeet come out of his shell a bit and express himself! 

Happy Evil Love Song

This is one of my go-to songs to play on the ukulele! It’s just so funny and sweet (as long as you don’t think about what happens after it, lol). 

I Really Don’t Hate Christmas

THIS SONG. I LOVE IT. I love that it pokes fun at the “villains hating Christmas” trope while also subverting it! It’s just, so soooooo so great. I have a great time trying to sing it each Christmas season, LOLLLL. (because those are some FAST lyrics. how did Dan do it????)

That Christmas Feelin’

This is one of my favorite Christmas songs ever!!! It really captures the vibe and joy of the season, and I always go out of my way to play it when hanging out with people who might not know it’s from Phineas and Ferb! lol

In The Empire

One of my biggest flexes is being able to sing the entire “It’s sO NOT FAIR....” section of this song, LOLLLL. It’s just such a fun one to sing!!! (or attempt to sing....hah. Ashley has SKILLS.)

Ferb Latin

Ok, this one might seem a little random, but as a musician, I am OBSESSED with how the three melodies intersect and blend together at the end of the song!!! It sounds SO GOOD. (Plus. Phinabella duet. Yes. Are y’all detecting a pattern?)

Aerial Area Rug

So I’ll just go ahead and say PHINABELLA first because this song has MASSIVE Phinabella vibes (I mean it begins with a homage to the “do you trust me?” scene with Phineas and Isabella, that’s like pure-seratonin right there). And this song is also genuinely just so beautiful. It’s sung so well and the instrumentation is gorgeous and the lyrics are so literal but like, they work very well. (and that key change baby, I love a good key change!)

Gitchee Gitchee Goo

Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! It’s a classic, and super catchy, and totally reminds me of Phinabella even though in the context of canon that isn’t what it’s about at all😅. Also! Candace and Phineas singing and having fun together will always make me smile. I crave wholesome sibling interactions. 

Thank You For Coming Along

THIS SONG MAKES ME FEEL THINGS....I really can’t think of a better send off the show could’ve had. I love how genuine it is, like a love letter to the fans, with all the references and such (I’m a sucker for fourth wall breaks, lol)! And I mean, that Phinabella moment near the end is just MAGNIFIQUE, YES, FOURTH WALL BREAK, PHINABELLA KISS REFERENCES, AND PHINEAS FLIRTING WITH ISABELLA??? WE LOVE TO SEE IT. 

We’re Back

and THIS SONG. THIS SONG RIGHT HERE. I can’t think of a better re-introduction to these characters after saying goodbye to them years ago. This song really feels like a warm hug, a welcome home. The music video Disney released for it is especially wonderful because it incorporates scenes from the show!!! I always rock out to this one whenever it comes on. It’s a gift, truly. I love it. I needed this song this year!!!

Ok I could go on and on and on but this post is getting really long so I think I’d better just post it, LOL. Maybe I can make a pt. 2 sometime, LOL. Because there are plenty of other songs I love!!! 

THANKS FOR THE ASK MADDY I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS!!!!!!

[madsdefencesquad]

Cait's comments about Madison just wanting to fit in and feel wanted hits hard after how she was treated at the ED support group and at the hospital during Kate giving birth 😢😭. Like aww poor bb, no one better hurt her especially Kevin or I swear to God 😡

omg hi anon yes I had to keep my composure reading through it as I was picturing all the times she was at ED support group and at the hospital and everyone treated like she was irrelevant and undeserving of attention and kindness and yet there she was pouring out so much love to everyone anyway even though they just laugh at her and make fun of her... like just stab me real fracking slowly, why don’t yaasodfhsjb

But for real though, I think this is what hits me the most about Madison and why I felt so so much for her and why it’s so damn ridiculous how people hate on her when you can tell that she’s just crying out for someone to show her even an ounce of kindness that she can’t help but show to everyone anyway.

It’s what breaks my heart the most. How she really is just genuinely selfless and kind and good, but people are so quick to judge her and dismiss her because on the outside she looks like she just has everything together. And I hate that so so so soooooo much. Every time she pops up on my screen it’s either I’m laughing, crying or laugh-crying while screaming, “JUST LET ME LOVE YOU!!!!!”

And look, I love Kevin, truly, but if he hurts her, I WILL ASS KICK HIM TO THE SUN MARK MY DAMN WORDS, PEARSON! 

But in saying that, I’m just so so sooooo glad she’s going to have her babies too because you know that these two will just absolutely adore their mother beyond anything and Mads deserve it. Like, can you imagine just how needy her twins will be and they’ll cry for their mum every time and Madison’s heart will just swell because omg these two love her so much that they can’t bear to be away from her. Or when they’re at the stage where they’re so attached and cry all the time when someone else tries to carry them and they’ll just keep reaching for their mum and then they stop immediately aksdnuipwabr[lkn